What I said:
“Well, thanks for your time. We’ll be in touch. And best wishes until then.”
What I wanted to say:
“Let me get this straight… I’m supposed to get up before dawn every morning, put on ugly, uncomfortable clothes, skip breakfast whenever there are early meetings (which happens often, you say), work intensely and tirelessly into the evenings, not because the work is worthwhile or meaningful (quite the contrary, in fact), but to make you famous, to make you a lot of money, to make sure that you get ahead and stay ahead, every day, no excuses - did you really just look at me and say “no excuses?” Yes, you did. All the while, I’m expected to neglect who I am, what’s inside of me, my natural tendencies, abilities, and unique voice, my basic needs and the wishes I have for my own life? Um, I’m sorry, but this is the only life I’ll ever have, and I can’t bear to waste it on your frivolous little exploits. Goodbye.”
I wonder how many people have had these same thoughts. I wonder how many have swallowed them, for lack of choices. I wonder how many could actually hear their own inner voice after ignoring it so many times before. I wonder if this guy’s proposal sounded like a dream for some people. I wonder what’s beneath the words that people say, and don’t say. I wonder about so many things, but I’ll continue my wondering someplace else —
“The secret story is the one we’ll never know, although we’re living it from day to day, thinking we’re alive, thinking we’ve got it all under control and the stuff we overlook doesn’t matter. But every damn thing matters! Its just that we don’t realize… ―Roberto Bolaño
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ―C.G. Jung
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